Carl As A

After 123456789 years, finally I was able to tweak and update this dormant blog of mine. I have been busy in my job as a teacher. There are many paper works that I have faced and currently facing. Exams are coming and grades are nearly needed. I have been trying to find time to go back in my passion in writing/ blogging. Hoping that I could balance everything I need to deal with.

For the past months, I struggled to finish my master's degree. I had sleepless nights in writing my thesis. Furthermore, I spent money for my schooling that my budget I allotted for buying a domain for this blog was sacrificed. For now, I need to blog using this free service. I badly want to have a domain for this online home of mine.

Summer vacation almost became non- existent as I was a busy bee every day except in Labor's Day when I went to Tarlac and Nayong Pilipino. How I wish I could travel again. I have no big money to spend for my dream vacation.

I hope this blog prosper in the next months. By the way, I almost forget that I have been busy in building my site for educators, yourfriendmaestro.com. You can visit it and hoping that in the next days, there will be my posts about my journey as a teacher.

Please bear with me in the current condition of this blog. I will try my best to improve this and display valuable posts.

If you get bored, you can read my articles in clairedelfin.com. I am happy for what is happening in my writing career. I feel like I am in Cloud 9 as I see my articles online.

Thank you for visiting my home. Hope to see you again.

Filipinos have colorful and different cultures and beliefs. These are observable from our daily lives up to special occasions. Even wake (lamay in Filipino term) and burial (libing) of our dead loved ones are showing Filipinos' beliefs. During the death of my Lolo Berting, I have seen how people acted when they visit the house of my grandparents to sympathize over our family's loss. The following are some of the beliefs:

1. Do not wear anything red. If you are planning to don with your favorite red apparel, you better change your mind. The family as well as the visitors might have eye brows rise on you. Red is a vibrant color; it does not match the gloomy atmosphere of the place. When my brother, who was wearing his red t-shirt, entered the house, my mother immediately told him to change his clothes. Aside from the color mentioned above, do not wear any vibrant color. Better wear black or white clothes to show respect to the bereaved family.
2. Leave the uneaten foods and drinks in the place. If the family offered you foods and drinks and you do not like to eat nor drink, you should not bring any going to your home. Bringing food from wake may bring bad omen including death to your family. You better eat some or better refuse from the start. 
3. Allow the visitors to leave without assistance. Some of our visitors refused to assist them going to the roads when they are bound homeward. They said to us that the spirit of the dead might join them in their leaving. Whoever wants to have a ghostly travel buddy anyway?
4. Have someone to view and guard the remains. It is inappropriate if all the households will fall asleep. There should be someone to watch over the the remains. They say that if no one is guarding the corpse, it might leave the coffin. So, it is better to have a turn- taking in watching the dead.
5. Cover the dead with a blanket. During the church funeral service of our lolo, one of our relatives talked to my lola (grandmother) softly saying that the dead body should have covered with blanket. I asked my lola why and she replied that lolo might get cold. Then, my mother and her siblings countered this step. In the cemetery, lolo's living sisters and my aunts and uncle are contrasting each other whether to open the casket or not. At the end, it was opened.  My lola used big body white towel as a replacement of the blanket.
6. Wash the face after attending the burial. Well attending the burial is a challenging one. You need to walk to send the dead to his resting place. It makes you sweat. Then, going home a pail of water welcome you. But, this is not for you to freshen up or mesmerize. This is another belief. You should wash your face to make the spirit not follow you. 
7. Lights on for forty days overnight. After the burial, my mother's cousin prompted me to light the house for forty nights consecutively. This is to prevent the spirit to hover the place. Well, with this, I do not know if seeing high electric bill is scarier than seeing a ghost?

It is not bad to practice these beliefs. These are already passed generation to generation. It is a must to pay respect to our elders. However, we are now on the 21st century. Culture is changing. What important is we have high respect to the dead, to the family, and to the community. Also, there should be a strong faith on God in dealing with death. 

It's new year. Many are wishing for prosperous 2018. But, it is not enough to sit down and wait for the heavens to sprinkle unending blessings. We should work hard to receive what we want. So, we end up setting goals to aim for the year. These goals are usually called New Year's resolutions.

All of us have devised our own list of new year's resolution way back childhood. Our goals were simpler like

"I am not going to quarrel my younger brother."

"I am going to sleep early."

"I am going to study hard."

As we grow older, our goals becoming complex like

"I am going to have abs."

"I am going to work for job promotion."

"I am going to be frugal."

We have sorts of goals. Maybe, we have written a kilometer of our list. The million dollar question is "Are we realizing our new year's resolutions?"

The recurring resolution I have heard is to stay fit. Many are ambitious to see themselves sexy and healthy. Who does not want to appeal awesome? Who does not want to have toned muscles? Who does not to wear the clothes that we are dying to wear. That's why gyms and parks are thronged of people who wants to perspire and carve strong muscles. As the days go by, a few left, committed to their body goals. The rest go back to their gastronomic pleasures.

I am guilty on this situation. Last 2016, I reached 75 kilos. That was my heaviest weight so far. I was alarmed. For that, I did my own Zumba session. For two months, I lost ten kilograms. However, when I saw that it was effective, I stopped. Lately, I realized that my routine should be continuous. So, I am still heavy for my age. *Fail*

In our numerous list, we have crossed out few resolutions. With our attitude, is making resolution applicable?

For me, it is still applicable. Even that we failed in achieving what we scribbled on our list, we need to set goals for us to grow maturely. We should make our lives to have directions. We should not be stationary. We need to seek new heights. We should not waste 365 days of the year.

Maybe, what impede us is our attitude. We have perpetual battle against procrastination, negativity, and idleness. What we need is a positive mindset. Another important thing is to be specific in setting goals. We need to make sure that these are reachable for us not to be disappointed. If ever that we missed some, we should not stop. We are not perfect. We are just humans. Sometimes, goals are attained in long duration. We should work hard and be patient.

Whatever our goals are, we should consult to God so that all plans will succeed. Have a happy 2018. Be positive, be thankful, be industrious.

Dear Lolo,



It's been five days since you left us. I was aghast about your sudden demise. You look strong a few days before Christmas. I remember our short conversation. I told you about the arrival of your child working in Hong Kong in 22nd of December, and you answered only "Yes." But, with that reply, I felt that you were really excited about the vacation of Aunt Ester. You waited patiently as your child together with other members of the family needed to travel at dawn to reach Pangasinan.

I saw your happiness when my aunt hugged you tightly in 23rd of the month. The house was festive as there was a reunion of family members. It was a rare moment to see your siblings completely. I am sorry if I failed to capture those moments with the lens of my camera. We were all busy and enjoyed the conversations. I told to myself that it will be the best Christmas celebration the family will have. 

We had our breakfast together. We ate fried fish, shrimps, crabs, and bamboo cake. You had your time sharing your adventures when you were still young to your current son-in-law. Above all, you were hopeful as you will seek medication in the next days. 

However, the next happenings were unexpected. You became weak as your heart illness triggered. I saw how you fought the pain. I saw you crying and praying. I felt pity on how you tried to resist your unbearable condition. 

"Laking (local term for grandpa), don't be nervous," I said while assisting you in wearing your slippers. You just sighed with pain. That was our last conversation before you admitted in hospital at Bolinao.

Two hours before Christmas day, we waited fervently for the result. Honestly, we did not have the moment to eat our Noche Buena blissfully. Then, we received an update from our aunt that you were in critical condition. Your blood pressure was fluctuating the worst.  We thought we're going to lose you during the happiest day on Earth. But, you survived the night. That was a good Christmas gift the family received. We were advised to wait for three days for the doctors and nurses need to observe you. 

I really wanted to visit you in the hospital, but I have to finish stuff for my title defense. Your condition became better and I saw a glimpse of  hope when my father told that you were in your normal color. 

In the 26th, you played against Death anew. Your blood pressure became critical. You were asked by Uncle Rod if you want to go home. You said yes. Then, you overcame the brawl, but it was apparent that your condition was not good anymore. You changed your mind and plead that you want to be transferred in Dagupan. Your request was granted.

That night, my mother who accompanied you in the hospital mentioned that your blood pressure turned worst again. I felt hopeless. I really wanted to make him well. I just prayed to God for healing. On the other hand, I also told God that I am ready if in case the opposite transpire. 

In the next morning, that opposite thing happened. You breathe your last. You left us peacefully. You have accepted your fate. You were scared to die before. You told your dreams about dead people. Then, you became open about it. You entrusted yourself to the Lord wholeheartedly.  You really finished the race. You have reached your destination. 

Rest in peace, Lolo Berting. Do not worry. We are going to try our best to move on and live life efficiently. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being a loving grandfather. Sorry for the hurt that I inflicted to you especially when Lola tells you about your arguments. You may not be the perfect grandfather, but you are one of those grandparents that one can be proud of. 

Enjoy your stay in heaven. No more pain, no more grief. The joy in the kingdom is endless. 

P.S.

I am going to take care Lola Titay.

This is where I am going to show my personal side.